FAITH

I get really uncomfortable around that word. I don’t understand it I suppose. I am afraid of religion, of giving my power away, and faith to me means that the belief in another power, a higher power. That higher power is me. I believe in me.

Interestingly, I am going to church now for the very first time in my life. Well, I lived in a church in college, but that is another story.

When I sold the marital home this summer, I moved to Scituate. Wow. I might as well have moved to Beirut. It was like I had fallen off the face of the earth to all my friends in Hingham. I didn’t have an aupair anymore. When I was alone in the house I was alone. I could drop dead, and no one would know! I decided I had to change course and try something different. So I went door to door and met my new neighbors. Later on, I threw a housewarming party and distributed fliers emblazoned with “Meet your new neighbors” on it inviting them to the grand bouncy castle affair.

Over the summer, I met my artistic neighbors, the Ruffos. Debbie and I went running one morning and I had a terrible cramp which severely slowed me down. As I limped home, I noticed a couple in their front lawn planting and tending their garden. Amy and Edwin and I talked and shared for almost 2 hours right there on the spot. They had met on Match.com and were getting married this coming spring. They were lovely. Effervescent and evolved. Good people.

A while later, Amy celebrated her birthday with a dress up party and many diverse friends. I was excited to attend and enjoyed everyone there. So many like-minded souls. Diane who had been divorced and remarried to a wonderful man later in life, and so on. In the corner was a striking woman, Nancy who reminded me of the woman I imagined I would become 30 years later at my creating my future retreat with Jane Pollack. Long, flowing grey hair, brilliant, natural features. Wonderful smile and very welcoming spirit. I was drawn to her, and we talked quite a long time until the party wound down and it was time to go. She offered to drive me home, and we talked another several hours in the car. Wow. Sharing and enormous bonding. All was revealed. No healed, but it was out there. Where did she meet all these people? Who were all these like-minded souls? It turned out that by and large, everyone knew each other from church. It was a “When Harry met Sally” moment. I’ll have what she’s having. Sign me up. I want some of that energy. Some of that glow. The next morning I went to church. The Unitarian Universalist Church in Cohasset’s commons. A lovely place.