Tuesday, May 19

Too overwhelmed as a single parent to consider a pet?

When I first got separated it was all I could do to keep up with two preschool kids, the house and working full time. The divorce was unexpected and my youngest was not even a year old! I was definitely not interested in getting a pet – an additional life to take care of and be responsible for.

The pressure was on! Not only were we living in the domestic bliss of the suberbs, surrounded by families with "the 2.1 children and the picket fences", but the children’s father immediately moved in with his girlfriend who already had 2 large dogs. Right away, the girls came home with excited reports insisting that we recreate the canine experience at our house, too.
Instantly little voices spoke in my head:

“No, no you can not have a dog. No, you can not have a cat. No, you can not have a pet. Not even a FISH. (Well, maybe a fish if it is really important and you need that to be happy.)"

My internal rantings continued. «You are lucky I am feeding YOU. You are fortunate I have the where with all to keep the house up, and keep it all together as well as I do. Any more right now is just too much! No.”

I was operating in overwhelm! Things are different now. I own my own home now and actually care for and enjoy caring for my houseplants. Watering the plants alone felt like a real chore for years!

Although continuing with their insistence, the kids have been patient with their urging to get a pet. Over time I have considered getting a dog. How I would love to go for a run with a dog in the mornings! But realistically how would I manage that simple routine? Leaving the house requires a babysitter as the kids are only 5 and 8. Also, on the weekends when the kids go to their Dad’s, honestly, I am out of the house on my own adventures and not interested in getting pulled back home to walk a dog.

Two weeks ago, I had a brilliant idea! On school vacation I surprised the girls with an impromtu visit to Pet Smart and suggested we get a hamster! The girls were thrilled, and collectively squealing, we ran into the store to find the “perfect” pet!
His name is Oliver, and he is a 3 month old Russian Dwarf hamster, who loves to roll around the house in his travel ball, and be held. The girls love him, and he makes my day when I see how pleased the girls are with their new friend, Ollie.
Overwhelm is expected when you are a single parent, but it does not have to be debilitating.

Hate doing household chores that you used to share, now on your own? Try a mantra meditation. This is one I use for household chores: dashea bonda shitasiya daranar.

Do Yoga. Lots of it. If you can not get out of the house due to expensive childcare, opt for ON-Demand fitness programming with your local cable service.

Improve your attitude and clear out the cobwebs of the mind with support groups, and self improvement programs.
Always remember what you are grateful for, like the health of your children. Consider journaling about it, or acknowledging someone.

I will start. I am grateful for Ollie, and the years it took to get the little guy.